some of the
photos so small and of crappy quality?
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Why men are happier than women
work vs. prison
Free McDonald's coupon
Cool Things About Men
Redneck Exercise Program
You know you're from Louisville if
You know you're a redneck if
Tips for visiting the South
Things only Southerners Know
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Things only Southerners
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a
hissy fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't
"HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly" is -- as in: "Going to
town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white,
granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty
little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and
by" is. They might not use the term,
but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the
best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got
trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a
large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near"and "a right
They also know that "just down the road"
can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
Southerner knows that "fixin" can be
used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in
lines. We don't do "queues," we do
"lines"; and when we're "in
line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them
will discover they're related, even if only by
Southerners never refer to one person as
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught
myself lookin,'" you know you are in the
presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"
and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we
do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And there's the ole time favorite of "goin"
back home to see mommernem" for some
"down home cookin."
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH
on the freeway. You just say, "Bless
her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a
little embarrassed by yor Southernness:
Take two tent revivals and a
dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning, bless your heart.
those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, bless
your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the
South but have lived here for a long time,
ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front
porch that reads, "I aint from the South
but I got here as fast as I could."
Bless your pea pickin' hearts,
ya'll have a blessed day.